Too late
by TheWhiteCrayon
Summary: Maybe I'll be what you need, one day. But don't wait too long. Because the day you decide you want me, may be the day I've finally given up. -ONESHOT


**I suddenly got this idea, and then I just had to write it down. Let's say it's my attempt at Creddie fanfiction.**

 _Too late_

It's not fair, you know. He loved me first. He always did, from the very beginning. I don't even know when he stopped. I guess it happened slowly -very slowly. Because I never noticed. God, how blind I was -I never noticed her falling in love with him, either. Just like I never noticed him falling out of love with me.

I just realised for the first time when I saw them kissing. Then I knew it was too late. I like to believe that I wasn't in love with him then. Because that would have been just plain silly. Too fall for him, right after he'd finally given up on me

Besides, he was Sam's boyfriend now. And what kind of a friend would I've been to be in love with my best friend's boyfriend? But then they broke up. So, it wouldn't be so bad to fall for him now, would it? And slowly, he fell for me again, too.

I don't know why I didn't do anything then. I don't know why I continued to reject him. Maybe I was afraid. Or maybe I just couldn't make up my mind. Whatever it was, it made me wait. And I wanted him to wait for me. I guess at that point, I just expected him to wait. He'd always waited for me.

But I waited too long. Expected too much. And then I moved away to Italy. And when I finally kissed him, it was too late.

I expected him to be happy. Too cry out in joy. I expected him to kiss me back. I expected him to tell me we'd get trough this -we could handle a long distance relationship. I expected him to love me still.

But he didn't do that. He didn't do any of that. And when I went off to Italy, he followed only a week later. He told me there was something he needed to speak to me about -face to face. And then I still expected him to kiss me, to love me, to want me. I still expected him to have waited.

It felt like a slap across the face when he told me he couldn't return my feelings. Not anymore. It was too late. And he went home, and I stayed. And we never spoke of it.

I had another boyfriend every week. Brought them too America with me -if only to show Freddie that I was over him. Utterly and completely.

But I so wasn't. I cried when Sam told me they were now together. I told her it was out of joy, but it was a lie. Had it been any other girl, I would have hated her. But it wasn't any other girl, it was Sam. And that made it even more complicated.

That night Freddie called me. He told me he had wanted to be the first to tell me, but Sam had just beaten him to it. I huffed -what right did he have, to think I wasn't over him? He was glad to hear that -to hear that dirty lie- and I told him I was happy for them.

He told me he was happy, too. I hung up and cried.

I had two years to say something -two years before they got married. But I didn't say a word till it was way too late.

I was the maid of honor, of course. I was there to help Sam pick out dress, a cake, a color theme -everything. I should have been happy for them, but I wasn't. All I could think of was how I was supposed to be in Sam's place. I was supposed to be the bride.

The day before their wedding I went to his house. I still love you. I said. I saw the hurt in his eyes. He was so sorry. He really did love me as a friend. It wasn't me. I don't even remember all of the clichés. But the point was; he loved Sam. With all of his heart.

I became hysterical. I begged him to take me back. To fall in love with me again. Cause, God, there had to be something I could do, right? -Something to turn back time?

But I was too late.

I was organising Sam's bachelor party that night. Let's just say that I had a lot of alcohol.

I'm very grateful that Freddie hasn't said a word to Sam about my break down. And therefore I am now standing by the altar, dressed in a dark purple bridesmaid dress, with an enormous headache, trying to push back the tears as Freddie is saying his vows.

And later, I'll have to watch them dance their first dance. I'll have to do my speech about how they belong together -how I've always known it. I'll have to be happy as I catch Sam's bouquet -I know she'll throw it at me. And then -and that'll be the hardest- I'll have to live my life without him. Without them.

Because, how am I supposed to deal with seeing them together -every day? Seeing him love another woman? Having to be happy for them? No. I'll have to deal without them now. Meaning I won't just lose the love of my life, but also my best friend.

I hope they'll be happy together. And I hope I'll be happy alone.

It's not fair. But then again, whoever said the world was fair?

 **I hope you liked it. Feel free to review, it makes me happy. :)**


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